I Hate FB: Lots Of Reasons To Hate Facebook

Facebook, I absolutely fucking despise it, the whole idea of its existence is one which makes me feel sick to the stomach. The very mention of its name by somebody, anybody, first thing in the morning makes me want to puke on my Shreddies. It was great at first, a tool for getting in touch with old friends, until you become hooked and begin to despise it. But you know that you can't delete the bleeding thing because you would subsequently have 411 friends wondering why you have decided to cut them out of their lives, or you have three people that live 5000 miles away that would cost you £1/$1 a minute to phone. Much of my justification for hating Facebook focuses around its completely and utterly grotesque sell out, the rest of my reasons are listed on this thread.

• Facebook is pretty much a self-inflicted privacy eradicator. Signing up on that little registration page so that you can see pictures of your distant relatives new baby seems innocent enough, how many of you realise that facebook then own every single piece of information that you ever upload/write on their site? I may as well put an advert on craigslist/gumtree giving people my address, leaving my door unlocked, and telling them when I will be on holiday.
• People 'poke' you. In real life I do not want people that I haven't seen for four years walking up to me and 'poking' me. This is in my opinion rather odd behaviour. Facebook would be a lot better if it had a 'Punch Me' button.
• It is now seen as acceptable for old people to join facebook. Having your grandmother adding you as a friend means that you can no longer post pictures of young people having 'fun', this in turn takes any sliver of fun that may existed on facebook firmly away. Great.
• Why do people insist on inviting you to a group over and over again until you 'accept'? You have been invited to join a group on 18th Century Steam Engines 'Reject Invitation', You have been invited to join a group on 18th Century Steam Engines 'Reject Invitation' You have been invited to join a group on 18th Century Steam Engines 'Reject Invitation'. Would those same people post you 28 letters inviting you to a wedding? or would they perhaps get the point? Facebook it seems has also legalised harassment.
• Why do people get upset when they do not feature on somebodies 'top friends'?, would this perhaps have something to do with either a). They do not actually like you enough or b) you spend so much time on facebook that you think your staying in touch with your friends, whilst they still have real life trips to the pub together?
• People that invite all 500 of their friends to a group because they "have lost their phone and need everybody's numbers", when they actually only had about 50 numbers on their phone and haven't called most of those for three years?
• Friends 'Suggestions', which always show about two dozen people that you are 100% certain you have never met in your life. I will continue to make my own friends in real life without your suggestions, but..... errrr..... thanks for the suggestion?
• The dozens of people that add you despite having not seen you for over 5 years, just because facebook 'Suggested' that they might know me?
• Notifications. You make one comment on one photo/status/wall post and you subsequently get 34 notifications telling you that other people have also commented. Fuck you facebook, I just wanted to say that the photo looked nice.
• The whole world knowing when you have a temporary tiff with your fiance, resulting in you becoming officially 'facebook single', then subsequently putting this back to 'engaged' two hours later..... only to have your droves of 'suggested friends' congratulating you on your engagement..... fuck you imaginary friends, I have been engaged for four years. Actually, this is a good indication that it has become time to remove some people from your friends list.